Sunday, October 14, 2007

So I wrote one about God and how I was kinda pissed off at him. I don't usually write angry, or what have you, but I just felt this one flowed better for it. It's one of the more personal ones. Here goes.

God Must Be Lonely

God must be lonely; his only love
Proved temperamental,
Unfaithful, distracted by bright lights
And wet dreams that turned to sacks
Of yellow flowers at dawn, penniless,
Eating pigswill for brunch, down and out
In Sodom and Gomorrah. His love told
Lies to friends, abused his intimacy,
Hurling curses at enemies who
Didn't know what pawns were,
All the while wrapped round the body
Of the fella with bigger muscles.
God must be funny; only a real joker
With brass balls could make a world -
A whole world! - either deny him or else
Fight about denying him or else
Fight about defining him or else, or else!
A world where his name is on a bomb
Or in the mind of a bomber as he unveils
Hell for his love. God must be beautiful;
Inconceivably beautiful, blindingly, hypnotically -
To create something so magically vital,
And not bottle it up, frame it, bind it,
Publish it online - to set it to the wind,
With his blessing, to strap a satchel
To its back and send it down a road
With demons and angels who dress the same
And never make their intentions known.
God was my love; I insulted him,
Blamed him, wept in confusion, in bitter
And speechless frustration - everything
People had told me about him was wrong,
How could he... I will write him a note,
A postcard, or a letter, if I'm feeling
Old-fashioned, just to say 'hello,
I understand now, I think, and at any rate
I'm sorry.' I'll leave the end blank,
Because he knows my handwriting,
How I cross my 't's; and if I don't
Hear back I'll write again. And if
I don't hear then I'll know why,
And understand why God must be lonely.

So there you go. A little pretentious, I think, but it's a start, and I don't imagine this is how it will look in the end.